Why You Need To Take Your Life Back… And How
Everyday doesn’t have to be filled with meaninglessness. Learn the 4 pillars to taking your life back into your own hands to start today!
This may sound controversial, but life was meant to be lived. There is so much joy we have yet to experience. The depth of life is insane and packed with boundless wonder.
But what happens when we find ourselves in a slump, unable to even rise out of bed each day? Not everything may be sunshine and rainbows at all times. Though, I would say we know there is a problem when we’ve been knocked down and cannot find any reason, motivation, or meaning of getting up once again. Been there.
Whether it is our childhood traumas rearing its head again, moving through our fears, a new disappointment or more, we must see that we are the commonality. This is NOT to say that we are at fault of some sort. Instead, let’s see it in the way of a ship.
In life, we are our own ship. We are sailing the world, experiencing the sea. We cannot control the tides nor the weather. We cannot choose the ships and islands we may pass. In fact, many of us are unfamiliar with our captains! Nonetheless, we sail on.
You know what would make the journey a whole lot more enjoyable? Learning about your ship, your crew, and how to sail through all kinds of weather. This is the magic we all possess.
Yet, when we are learning to become masters of the sea, we can still stumble. This is the learning process. It is not always linear. In any event, we may find ourselves wishing things were different than they are or blaming other people for the hardships we have endured. This is human.
Being hard on yourself for these realities only creates further pain. Allow yourself to be human. Ride your waves of humanity.
Time and again, we come to see that people cannot change people. (If this is something that is difficult to accept, check out this short article.) Whether we like it or not, we cannot change what they have done just like we cannot change how we have lived our lives thus far.
Another controversial sentiment — we do not have to grow. Yes, you are reading that correctly.
The purpose of life is NOT to grow. It is simply to be and to adapt. Life changes us for us.
Life is FULL of change. Ever hear the quote about how the only constant in life is change? Well, hear this out too. Because of change, we can either fear what we have or appreciate what we have. Crazy how simple everything can be.
When we are in misery, lethargy, in absolute dread, we are opposing any desires of improvement. Of course we should honor every phase and each emotion we experience. When we actively choose to stay there, we are saying YES to pain.
Why do we keep acting like pain is desirable? Why can’t you change your mind? Your emotions? Why not you? Why not now?
What we often find are excuses. Excuses like why you can’t do this right now or why you need to stay small. Everything that is based in fear is seriously holding you back. Do you want to stay where you’re at in this miserable place or are you willing to move?
Willingness is the key here. Allow yourself to move from this state of being. Give permission to yourself to rise and release your burdens even if for just a moment.
Four is the number of foundations, roots, structure, and guidance. Just like our words, numbers are symbols. We are looking to create a lasting change and space in your life now, so I find that there are four keys to living a life you are delighted to claim as your own.
Now are you willing to let go of the excuses and limitations for a few? Are you ready to reclaim your life? Keep making excuses or keep on reading. Let’s build a life!
ESTABLISHING BODY RELATIONSHIP.
This is the first key. Why? Because our body stays with us for our whole life. It functions to survive so that we may thrive.
Our bodies are magical. We can change them, mutilate them, shame them. Yet, they still push on, hoping to receive the love and appreciation they deserve. Here are three ways to begin enjoying, and appreciating, the body you are inhabiting in this life:
1. Learn To Breathe.
Breath-work is becoming much more prevalent in our society. In case you’ve missed it, breathing is one of the most important things you can learn to do in this life.
I am not talking about the shallow, survival breaths you are taking right now and automatically. I am talking about the deep ones, inhaling through your nose and long exhales out of your mouth.
Learning different breathing techniques will change your life on day one.
2. Daily Movement.
The body needs rest as much as it craves movement. Ironically, movement of the body can also help slow down the mind. In order to enjoy your body, you might as well see what it is capable of doing.
Some of the best activities for us are the ones we often overlook: walking, dancing, stretching. Choose one and do it every single day for a week, even if only for 15 to 30 minutes.
If you are already moving your body on the daily, change up your routine. Explore! Go to the gym with intention, try a kickboxing class, take yoga. I promise you will be amazed.
3. Become Curious.
Specifically become curious about both the external and internal features of your body. Notice that there are two worlds that your body is simultaneously living in — how cool.
Your external body may have really taken some damage over the years. Perhaps from years of hard labor, loud sounds, being on your feet constantly, never resting, any physical abuse, or a chronic ailment. This is why we must care for our external.
I am not saying to immediately tell your body how much you love it and think it is so beautiful. This is not what this exercise is about. It is about softly and gently caressing your physical body and becoming safe. It is about being your own safety. Know that your touch is healing.
How do we learn about the internal? I am not a doctor, but I am educated about the body. My degree in science says that you should start with researching hydration in depth and learn about nutrition.
You will be shocked at the difference in your life when you learn about the body, externally and internally.
CREATE A SYSTEM.
Humans crave consistency. We like patterns! Since we know this to be true, why not use it more to our advantage than to our detriment?
As we learn more about our body, A.K.A. our lifelong companion, we may start to spin our wheels. We might become caught up in our bad habits again or we feel like we are making no progress towards a better reality.
This is where pillar two comes in! Choose at least one of these three methods to add some structure into life.
1. Use a Weekly Planner.
This is something that saves more lives than we probably realize. When we write our lives out, we can properly notice our patterns, habits, and priorities. Because at the end of each day, it is about what we prioritize.
One of the ways that a planner helped me take my life back into my own hands was by making basic tasks feel good. When you write down to have a good meal or take a shower or do the laundry and you’re able to check it off as you go, it makes you see that you did something good that day, no matter how seemingly small.
Whether you buy a yearly planner or write your day down on your phone calendar, I know this will help you feel good. Try it!
2. Create Once a Month.
Do something creative. It does not have to be a talent or even a skill you have. Paint, choreograph, draw, cook a new meal, write a song or a poem, at least once a month. Try out a new creative venture every month!
No matter what you have going on in your life, schedule a day once every month to create something for yourself. Go outside the box and see how freeing it is to make art.
Taking an art class is a fun way for you and your friends to do this together. Enjoy being creative, it is one of your god-given talents.
3. Invest in Accountability.
You don’t have to micromanage your life. Every day there is more to be done than we may realize. We meant to do the laundry before we pick up the kids and suddenly it is time for dinner and oops almost forgot to feed the dog and how did I go the whole day without reading again and so on.
It is understandable to be overwhelmed! Our society puts a lot of pressure on us to hustle and to do and have it all. The truth is, you are never lacking in anything. We only think we are!
This is where investing in you becomes important. Community is everything. Either have a friend walk through some of your changes with you, or a spouse or a sibling or even your pets.
Sometimes, it may just be the most helpful to invest in a therapist, a coach, a mentor, a like minded group, or an expert. When you spend the money doing these things, remember that the benefits are worth the exchange.
All the improvements you make with an accountability partner come back to you in goodness tenfold.
Once we have created stability within ourselves through knowing our body, caring for ourselves, and making good habits happen, we are ready to know who the hell we are. If you are going to move forward with life, allowing it to take you down the best path it has to offer, wouldn’t you like to know what you stand for?
We are layered beings, multidimensional, and full of depth. There will always be more to learn about who we are! To take our life back, we must become curious about our person. How do we do this?
1. Take Personality Tests.
Thanks to psychology, we have tons of these now and thanks to the internet we have most of them available at our fingertips. Some of my favorites include Human Design, the enneagram, the Myers-Briggs 16 Personalities, and the Gene Codes.
Of course, as you learn more about these tests, you may find it fun to keep taking them to see if you result in the same answers. I implore you to instead take many personality tests and then see what the common responses are.
Other tests include the Holland Codes, the Big Five, the Three Personality Types of Ayurveda, Attachment Theory, and DISC. Honestly, I would just choose a few and have fun with it. Become curious about what patterns you find!
2. Make it Fun!
When you think of astrology, you may think of lame horoscopes that you find in the newspaper (do they still do those?) or pseudoscience. The truth is that anything you want to be true will be true for you. So, at least make life be a little outlandish and fun while we are figuring it all out.
The interesting thing about reading stars and personality charts is that there is more than one kind. There is the popular Western astrology, but there is also lunar/Chinese zodiac astrology, I-Ching, Vedic astrology, and more.
Astrology comes in forms of charts. So, if you were born as a Scorpio (like me!), that is only one aspect of your personality called the Sun sign. If you investigate your natal chart, you will find much more accuracy.
You could even explore your own personal numerology, learning your soul desire number, life path number, and more. These are all fun little personality researches that you can do to add fun to this process. YouTube is a great way to listen about more!
3. Learn to Listen.
At the end of the day, no matter your results from these tests or having fun learning astrology or reincarnation, you are the answer to all your questions. Listen to your body and listen to your heart.
How do we learn to do this after years of hardship, distrust, and treating our bodies poorly? We must establish our own peace. Even if the world is chaos, we don’t have to be.
We learn to listen to ourselves best through journaling, meditation, and contemplating our childhood wounds and highlights. Yes, that means noticing what made you feel special, heard, and seen as a child. What always stood out to you in the best way possible?
Find out how you can trust yourself and follow through.
DEVELOP A SPIRITUAL PRACTICE.
One very important common theme I have noticed with some of the most successful people, people who have success and happiness in their lives, is that they have a deep spirituality. This does not have to mean that they sage the house every Tuesday or that they can recite a holy book verbatim.
The only way someone can feel like they are leading their life effectively, brilliantly even, is by believing in the divine. There are layers to our world that are unseen, memories included. A spiritual practice is necessary to live your best life. Scratching out most of what you may have been previously taught, here’s how:
1. Pick Your Beliefs.
Every single person has a belief system instilled within them, even when they do not consciously recognize it. Not believing in a higher power is still believing in something. Be curious about why you believe what you do.
If your answer to anything is simply, “Because that’s what it is,” you may want to think it over again. For me, I believe in no harm done to myself or to others. Why? Because pain, suffering, does not feel good. And I want the world to feel good, because when we ultimately feel good, we can know peace.
Oh, and when you’re deciding what you believe in, you don’t have to decide every belief today. See what happens in life, inquire about your beliefs, and move accordingly. Choose your divinity.
2. Choose Your Rituals.
Now, I do not recommend you cause harm so don’t take this as a notice to go out sacrificing animals or firstborns or whatever they’re still doing out there. Just as I already mentioned, our habits are the foundation of our lives. In order to feel like we are in charge, we must do our part.
Contributing to our divinity looks like consistency. It isn’t praying out of desperation once in a while, and it isn’t pretending to care what any bible says. It is the routine you do when you wake up, it is the nighttime rituals you do before bed. Even if that’s only brushing your teeth!
Other practices you can take up are yoga, meditation, breath-work, fasting, observing lunar cycles, tapping into the earth, even spells of sorts (we make words by ‘spelling’ anyhow).
You take back your soul when you make the time to contribute to your essence.
3. Fruit For the Soul.
Just like the body and the brain, we must continue to nourish our souls. We feed it by ingesting more spiritual material! We are sensory creatures. Pick out what stands out to you when it does!
Two of my favorite ways to nourish my soul, besides things like hot baths and meditation, are reading books and listening to spiritual teachers. Abraham/Esther Hicks and Alan Watts are two wonderful choices if you are to begin now. As for books? Look up your favorite outlandish topics and have fun.
Wondering when this mini ebook will end? No worries. The hard truth is this — you are the one who needs to do the work to move into a new state of being. The only way you can begin and make a lasting change is to know the foundation.
By establishing a good relationship and awareness of the body, creating a system of routine, learning more about who you really are, and developing your idea of divinity, you will be unstoppable. These are the hidden keys to the life of your dreams.
Through this journey of life, you may notice one area may become tumultuous. This is why my guide here is so detailed. You can always come back and learn more. Explore more. Know more.
Allow yourself to be where you are. Are you ready to give up the excuses?
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Original Article: https://www.heidischeleski.com/blog/take-my-life-back-now
Original Artwork: https://www.heidischeleski.com/the-ruby-road-art